I didn’t take a single photo in February.

Not because I was tired, or no time.

But because I started to doubt myself.

It’s a strange feeling —

to suddenly not like what you see in your own work.

to look at recent photos and feel… empty.

Or worse, I feel that they’re not good.

And then I went back —

back to the photos I took when I first fell in love with photography.

photos I didn’t think much of at the time.

photos I almost forgot.

And somehow, they started to make sense. I feel they had meanings again.

Which made me question —

What changed?

I stopped shooting.

not as a break but a decision.

because I knew something inside me wasn’t quiet.

and if the mind isn’t quiet,

the camera becomes noisy.

From black and white to colour

A few things changed in February.

I started to see color differently.

For a long time, I only trusted black and white.

It felt more “serious”, more “correct”.

Less distraction, more essence.

But recently, color began to feel… honest.

Not loud. Not decorative. Just present.

I found myself drawn to the work of Saul Leiter — the way colour can be soft, hidden, almost accidental.

and for the first time,

I didn’t feel the need to remove colour to make a photo “better”.

Begin to question Instagram “likes"

The second shift was —

I started to question Instagram.

Why do the photos I believe in get no likes?

Does that mean they’re not good?

Of course not.

But the system makes you think that way.

Photography becomes performance.

I don’t want that.

So I started to pull back — less posting, less checking.

Instead, I want more

• writing
• thinking
• looking inward

I want to focus on my process instead of gaining likes.

Film vs Digital

The third thing I realized was about film and digital.

I’ve been shooting a lot of film.

But film is expensive, and more importantly,

It’s limited.

Not every frame deserves to be “the one”.

Not every moment is the decisive moment.

And I think I was expecting too much from film.

So I started to rethink it —

Digital as practice and film as intention.

Shoot digital more — to see, to fail, to try again.

And when I pick up film, I will take every shot seriously.

Not chasing perfection, but presence.

Starting March, I started to shoot again.

I shoot digital more and film less.

I feel I am ready to shoot again.